Who’s a good pup?

We know what happens when we say ‘who’s a good girl/boy/pup to a beloved pet -tail wagging and cuddles and more of the desired behaviour.

Yet when was the last time you said something similar to yourself? Try it, in the mirror, and see how it feels. Unfamiliar, false, immodest?

Instead our inner narrative can be brutal. And because it’s in our heads we believe it. When asked to anonymously write down their deepest fears and negative self talk, people are more likely to say ‘I’m not good enough, I’ll be found out, I’m a rubbish partner/friend/employee/child/boss…. ‘

I ask clients, ‘Would you say this to a pet or even a child?’ Imagine the impact.

Our saboteurs shout loudly over and over again in the misguided hope we will learn from our mistakes if we beat ourselves up enough. It’s a universal human experience to have these voices no matter how successful you are.

Once in touch with our Sage we can dial down the sabotaging voices and choose to listen to the voice of wisdom, clarity and intuition. Nurturing unconditional self-love needs practice. Our Sage would use powers that guide and encourage us. And cheer us on.

Much like we’d talk to our furry friends.

We need it as much as they do.

So why not try praising yourself - even giving yourself a pat on the back, without cringing. Learning to love yourself, as Whitney sang, is the greatest love of all.

Or as RuPaul reminds us: ‘If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen up in here? Amen!’