The fingerprints

How PQ helped me when I got arrested.

It was a minor crime. A speed camera (5km over the limit) caught an old license plate on the bike rack so the fine went to our old car’s new owner, and I was called to the local gendarmerie at 8am.

Not knowing what to expect, this being my first time either in France or back in the UK, to be reprimanded, I put my best foot forward, smiled and engaged my Sage.

What followed could have been bewildering, humiliating or anger-making in the hands of my saboteurs. My Judge would have blamed me for speeding, my husband for forgetting to update the plate on his bike rack, and France for its petty and unending bureaucracy.

I was read my rights, got fingerprinted, had my mug shots taken (like Hugh Grant) and had to prove my good character and financial stability. And all the time, with some PQ fingertip rubs, I was able to observe with curiosity ‘Just like in the films!’ and ‘I’m learning a new experience – and in French!’

And I also had compassion for the gendarme quizzing me ‘All this paperwork, I’m sure you have more important things to be doing’. To such an extent we started chatting and discovered we have mutual friends. I even felt bemused when he noted down my physical description, including ‘corpulence – normal’ (only in France!).

So, newly black-inked fingers rubbed and crossed, I hope I get off with a warning and a speed fine and my records deleted. And I’ve invited the gendarme for tea next time he passes by. Thank you PQ.